Soundtrack

1. Acceptance - Breathless
2. Avril Lavigne - Naked
3. Goo Goo Dolls - Can’t Let It Go
4. Hanson - Never Let Go
5. Michelle Branch - Hotel Paper
6. Nirvana - Come As You Are
7. Oliver James - Long Time Coming
8. Jewel - Break Me
9. Rob Thomas - Something To Be
10. Sister Hazel - Your Winter
11. Tegan and Sara - I know, I know, I know
12. The Fray - Over My Head
13. The Perishers - Sway
14. Willa Ford - I Wanna Be Bad

Prologue

She breathed in deeply, taking in the salty sea air. Taking in the new smell that she had never smelled before. Her eyes few open, blinking a few times she looked up. Little drops of water landing on her face, dotting it with moisture. Taking in the gray sky, she sighed, and turned her attention to the beach. It was true; there was water as far as she could see. The gray water sloshed and swirled and pulled sand into its depths.

Sighing again, she let her feet slowly sink into the soft sand. She walked along the beach letting her mind wonder, and the soft rain to fall on her. Her footsteps trailing a path behind her.

Rayann Cobain always wanted to be here. In the land of the rain and Starbucks. Not that she really liked Starbucks. She was more of a coffee-stand girl. But, none the less, Rayann wanted to be in Seattle, Washington. There was no place like it in her mind. The gray skies and the green trees; it was a far cry from California, Arizona, Texas, or Nevada. The dry land is all she had ever known and she was sick of it. She was glad to be somewhere where it rained a little. Glad to be where it was green and fresh. Glad to be somewhere new.

There was always somewhere new, though. There was always a new school, and a new apartment, and a new job. Just her and her mother. Tally Cobain had always been a “rolling stone”. She had always been that way. Following a new guy every few months. No wonder Rayann never knew her father; not even his name. Tally felt the need to hind the truth; ignoring Rayann’s questions and pleas. Telling her daughter that she knew what she needed to know. Which wasn’t true at all, but pointing this out wouldn’t serve a purpose. Rayann tried for years; nothing worked.

Chapter One

The day that I him was a Tuesday. The day I met Zac Hanson was a very bad day. I didn’t start the day off right. I woke with a chip on my shoulder and bad taste on my mouth. Maybe it was the weather - day number twenty of continual rain - or the fact that I had lost my favorite Nirvana LP CD that I listened to every morning since I had moved to Washington. I was convinced that my mother had taken it because she was sick of listening to it. Or maybe it was that I couldn’t find my black Converse in my shoebox of a room and had to wear my Vans to work. I hated my Vans, they generally sucked. A lot. Or maybe it was the fact that until Zac Hanson and his brothers walked into the coffee shop and sat down I had only made five dollars in tips.

Something made me roll my eyes at the four people that sat down in the corner of the shop; draping their wet coats over their chairs. I stared down at the dirty and wet shoeprints that they had tracked in, all of them intermixing. My eyes followed the shoeprints to the puddles created by the wet coats, all of it creating a large mess.

I blew my long bangs out of my face and dug my short fingernails into the paper napkins I had been holding. I sighed, letting some of my anger go with it, and started toward their table. Stuffing the napkins, I realized I still had a death grip on, into my apron. The three boys and one girl sat at the table, the boys were talking loudly about a set list. Not that this was news to me. The coffee shop was two blocks away from a small venue where a lot of bands played. The girl just smiled when she saw me coming. I gave her a small smile in return.

“What can I get you?” I asked, interrupting a tall blond who was yelling harshly. The young woman who was seated next to him frowned at him.

“What the HELL do you mean that you don’t want to play your solo, Zac?” He was saying, before glancing at me - I gave him a sickly sweet smile - and whispered that he wanted a venti mocha. All the while glaring at the younger man across from him.

The younger man, Zac, wanted a venti white chocolate mocha. Zac nodded at the other man sitting next to him. “What are you getting, Ike?”

Ike had wanted just a plain coffee with cream and sugar. I forced myself to not wrinkle my nose at the thought of plain coffee; instead I focused on the only girl at the table.

“Sweet tea, please.”

“Sweet tea?” I repeated, staring at her for a second. What the hell was sweet tea? I thought.

“Nat means iced tea.” Zac said. “That’s has close as you’ll get.” A grin split over his face.

“Ok. You got it.” I whispered atomically as I walked away and started their drinks. I could see the man’s - the only one who’s name I didn’t know - speaking fast to Zac. Zac folded him arms over his chest, a thin line spread his face. He was shaking his head and opening his mouth, but couldn’t get a word in before Blondie would start the rapid fire of words again.

When I stopped making the mochas and started the iced tea, the boys’ conversation came back in full force.

“You have to do a solo, Zac. I don’t care what it is, hell; you can do “Lucy” for all I care. I mean, damnit, Zac, you can not do this.”

“Well, I’m not doing it, Taylor!” Zac yelled, his face turning an awesome shade of red.

“Why?”

“I told you why.”

“‘Because Kate is going to be there’ is not an answer. Just because your girlfriend is going to show up is not excuse. What the heck is she doing in Seattle anyway? Isn’t she supposed to be in Georgia?” Taylor asked, glancing at Nat to somehow prove a point.

“I’m not doing it because she’s going to be watching. I’m not doing it because she and I -”

“Here you go.” I said sitting down their coffees and one tea in front of them, before reaching for the blow of creams and sugar from the serving tray and setting them in front of Ike.

Ignoring me, Taylor took a long sip of his coffee before turning to Zac again, “Because you and Kate what?” He asked.

“We fucking broke up, you ass.” Zac explained slapping the table with his fist, toppling the coffee cup that I just set in front of him moments ago. The lid popped off and the white liquid flowed everywhere. Inducing my shirt, my apron, and Zac’s lap. He yelped and stood. Shocked, I stood there and watched the hot liquid slip onto the floor.

“Shit.” I screamed as the coffee seemed to sink into my shirt, burning my skin.

“Oh my God.” Zac whispered. “I’m so sorry.”

I kept staring down at the growing stain on my shirt, barely hearing his words. “I’m fine.” I finally whispered. “I’m fine.” I repeated.

“Please, let me do something. Please. I’m sorry.” Zac said.

“I’m fine.” I said again as I turned away from him and walked toward the counter.

“No. Here. Please.” I glanced at him. He held out his flannel over shirt; underneath he wore a Doors t-shirt. “Take it.”

“I can’t just take your shirt.” I said setting down the coffee pot and went around to the other side of the counter. Running my hand through my hair.

“Of course you can.” He said, following me to the counter and leaned his elbows on top of the counter. “Take it before the coffee stain sets in.”

“Sir, I can’t -” I started. My face growing red with anger. Why did this guy just leave me the hell alone? I thought.

“Zac. My name is Zac.”

I sighed. “Zac. I’m not taking your shirt.”

“Yes. You. Are.” Zac said, stuffing his shirt into my hand and walked away. I sighed as I saw his sit down with his brothers. My eyes forced on the coffee stains that had splattered his jeans. With a snort of frustration I stomped into the back the bathroom and changed my shirt and soaked my shirt in the bathroom sink.

When I came back into the main café Zac and his brothers were gone. I grabbed a towel to wipe up the coffee on table six. As I came closer to the table I saw a piece of paper lying in the middle of the talk and a few dollars under the sugar blow.

Setting the towel down I picked up the piece of paper and the money. Glancing down, I realized that I held three twenty dollar bills in my hand. Shaking my head, I read the letter.

Rayann - I’m assuming that is your name considering that’s what it says on the board -

I’m sorry about your shirt. I hope that you’ll consider this money has a tip (after the cost of the coffees, of course). Also I hope to see you at the concert that we are doing tonight. Here’s a ticket. I hope you have fun.

Thanks,
Zac Hanson

Hanson? I thought. As in Hanson? Oh my God. The ticket was paper clipped to the back of the letter by what could have only been Nat’s hair pin, possibly from the bottom of her purse.

I blinked not knowing what to think, nor what to do. I glanced at the ticket. I had been right; their concert was two blocks away, and general setting. The doors opened at seven, and I got off at five. Plenty of time. Panty of time for what, though? Am I really going? I thought? Free concert. Check. Really not ex-bubblegum pop star who is really hot. Check. The hot pop star who owes me? Check.

I smiled, “the hell I’m not going.” I whispered to myself.

Chapter Two

Noise. All I heard was noise as I came closer and closer to the venue. Loud screams filled all of my senses.

As I rounded the corner I was shocked to see tons of people outside of the venue. Girls pushing their way to the front; others are screaming at one another about their spots in line.

I sighed. This was going to be harder that I thought. I had wanted to give back the extra money that Zac had left. I didn’t want that much. I didn’t need it. How dare he think that I would want his charity. I was not a charity case, and never would be.

It seemed like it took hours to get into the venue; with more and more girls pushing to get to the front. I was starting to wonder why I was in line being poked in the back for a concert that I didn’t even want to see. That I didn’t even know about four hours ago. How do I actually get myself into these things? I wondered.

Build men stood at the door, stamping hands and trying to control the line. As I handed over my ticket, another man stamped my hand. I waited a beat for the man to give me back my ticket stub but nothing happened. I glanced at the large, bald man in front of me who was staring down at my ticket and whispering into the headset that he was wearing. I couldn’t hear him because of the loud noise behind me. I could feel the line pressing me against the doorframe where I stood.

“Come with me.” I heard Baldy say to me as he flagged me to follow him. The next second another equally as big bodyguard took Baldy’s place controlling the crowd.

Fuck! I thought. I knew that this was a joke. I knew it. The ticket was a fake and now I’ll be thrown in fucking jail. Great. Just fucking great. I thought.

I followed him, not noticing where we where going. I was too busy trying to think of ways to explain this to Tally. She would have my ass on a sliver plate. As far as mothers go, mine was cool. Being a teenage mother might have factored into her being cool. Let’s face it, being twenty and having your mother only sixteen years older - we didn’t fight a lot. Only on a few things, like moving around so much and marriage. But Tally wasn’t this cool. She would be furious.

Before another thought could enter my mind I found myself at a back door with Baldy knocking on it.

“Come in!” I heard someone scream from inside.

Baldy opened the door and led me inside. I slowly walked inside, glancing around the room. It sure as hell wasn’t a holding cell.

A tan sofa lined the wall of the small room, and gathered around it were squishy chairs and a small coffee table. Snacks weighted down the small table.

“Rayann. I didn’t think that you would come.” Said a soft voice. As the man stood and turned my jaw dropped.

I was backstage. I wasn’t going to jail. I was backstage.

The other two boys stood and joined their brother; as they came closer their grins became visible.

“Why?”

“Because you were nice you us.”

“You didn’t spill the coffee on purpose did you?” I asked.

Zac shook his head. “No.”

“So you just did the whole fairy godmother thing because you wanted to?”

“Except I don’t think there is a midnight time limit.”

I glanced at the clothes that I wore. Which, I thanked God I had changed before I came. “And no fluffy white dress.”

“Or glass slippers.” Zac added.

I laughed softly. “So what does this Cinderella night entail?” I asked.

Chapter Three

The show was awesome. I know now why they had millions of girls fall over themselves to get to them. I understood the energy. I understood the swoon. I have to admit that the bad-ass Nirvana fan like me is falling for an ex-bubblegum pop star. Oh the joy.

After the concert I expected to just go home. I enjoyed the concert and I had never thought that I was going to get backstage. It was more than enough.

Apparently Zac hadn’t thought so because he asked me to dinner. I don’t know if it was because of the tall brunette that was standing feet away, but I’m sure it had something to do with it.

I let him lead me away from the venue and into a small pub. Where we sat down and he immediately ordered a beer and I ordered a coke. I knew that Zac was twenty-one, not that it mattered. He probably had a wallet full of fakes.

Dinner was nice. Not great. But nice. Zac talked and I listened. He talked about everything that I could think he could talk about. Music, what was hot and not, what the record companies actually did and did not do for their artist.

I learned a lot about Zac Hanson that night. Including his body.

Zac gathered me up into his arms and sat down on his lap. I hooked my arms around his neck and meet his forehead with mine. “We don’t have to do anything.” Zac whispered. His voice was soft as he tucked my long brown hair behind my ears.

“I know that.” I whispered.

“If you ever want me to stop, I will.” He whispered.

I nodded before lowering myself further into his lap. Zac ran his hand down my cheek and down my throat; slowly running his thumb over my jaw line. Our noses touched before I felt Zac’s lips. I felt my legs start to shake. My fingers played with the ends of Zac’s short hair.

The kiss deepened and I felt Zac’s tongue enter my mouth. I moaned as it filled my mouth and I tightened my hold on him. By now, I whole body started to shake. I was barely aware of Zac’s hands leaving my jaw and traveling down my body to my lower back and up my shirt.

I pulled away from him. Zac looked up at me, confusion written all over his face. “What’s wrong? Are you okay?” He asked.

I moved off his lap and stood. My legs shaking so badly that I thought that I would past out. Grabbing onto his hand I lead him wordlessly down the hall to hotel suite I knew was behind the large white door. I opened the door to the room.

The walls painted a light blue and had a queen size bed cover in a white coverlet. I swallowed hard as I shut and locked the bedroom door behind Zac. I leaned against the door as Zac glanced around the room for a second.

Zac turned to me, slipping his hands around my waist and pulled me against him. “Are you sure that you want this?” He asked.

I nodded and pulled away from him, “I’m going to put on some music.”

Zac nodded as I pushed the play button that was on the CD player next to the bed. My entire body was shaking as I heard the voice on the CD player come through the speakers.

I swallowed hard again as I sat down on the floor, Zac followed sitting next to me. He threaded his fingers though mine and caught my eyes. “You’re shaking. Are you okay?”

I nodded yet again. I didn’t really know why I was doing this. I didn’t know if it as to be okay after I did this. I wouldn’t be the same that was for sure. I shifted into Zac’s lap, letting our entwined fingers let go. Zac led my body to the floor and covered mine with his own. His fingers traveled my body, resting at certain spots on my body. I couldn’t help but watch as he did this, making my body shake in fear and excitement. His fingers danced over my bent leg and came to rest on my thigh. I glanced flickered to Zac’s face and he smiled. “You’ve never done this before, have you?” He whispered. I felt shame drown my body for minute as I shook my head. “It’s okay. We can stop.”

“I don’t want to.” I whispered. “I don’t want you to stop. It feels good.”

A small smile lit up his face as I lean down, his lips inches from mine, “okay.” He whispered before catching my lips again. His hands were bolder this time; stripping off my shirt and bra in minutes. His left my mouth as he kissed his way down my neck and then down my chest. I drew in a sharp breath when he reached my nipple; his teeth grazed it and I felt a violent shake go though her.

Making quick work of Zac’s shirt that soon joined mine on the floor next to them, I ran my hands down his chest, scrapping my nails as I went, leaving white marks in their wake. Zac wrenched his lips from my breast and slowly picked him and then me up of the floor. He moved toward the bed with me in his arms. Putting me down on the bed, he lean over me, capturing my lips again. I let my arms go around his waist, but he made no move to get into the bed with me.

“What are you doing?” I asked as I pulled away from him.

“Taking off my shoes.” He whispered as climbed on top of me in only his jeans, having removed his socks and shoes, and continued to kiss me, letting his tongue do all the talking in letting me know how much he wanted me. Soon his mouth left mine and stopped in the middle of my neck, sucking on my soft skin.

“Mmmm.” I moaned loudly and pulled him fleshed to me. I let another shiver go through me as my sensative nipples came in full contact with Zac’s chest. I hooked my legs around Zac’s waist as his palm came to rest on my hip; his fingers brushing my center through my pants. I let out a long moan as my hips bucked up.

“Oh God,” I cried as I dung my fingernails into his back.

“It’s okay.” Zac whispered as his left hand rubbed my breast, while his right was still fingering my center harder and harder. All the while, my hips bucking, screaming for release. Soon, I was riding his hand faster and faster until I screamed out as I collapsed in passion, my body flying in release.

When my breathing came back to normal, I let my arms drop from his shoulders; I saw little half moon marks on his shoulders. My hands wondered down Zac’s chest and stopped for a second at his waist, before dropping a few more inches to the front of his pants and ran my hand over the large bulge that strained his pants. Rubbing his erection through his pants as Zac had done for me.

Zac moaned loudly in my ear as he removed his lips from the growing hicky on my neck. “Ray, you have to stop.” He whispered as he stilled my hand.

I glanced up and looked at him. His face was red and his breathing hard. “Why can’t I?” I asked.

“Because if you don’t, I’m going to come, and I don’t want that. Not right now. I want to wait.” He whispered as he let go of my hand and entwined his fingers through mine, bring their hands above my head.

Kissing me deeply, Zac let go of my hands and traveled quickly to unbutton and unzip my pants, making me shake again. His finger slipped into my panties, bushing against the soft haired mound. Letting his hand rest on top of it for a second, before pushing his forefinger into my small opening. I cried out in surprise and pain. I opened my legs wider, giving Zac better excess to me.

“You feel so wet.” Zac whispered into my ear as I moved my hips. I cried out in protest when Zac removed his finger from me and pulled out his hand from my pants. He slowly pushed down my pants, taking my panties with the rest of my clothing. Throwing my pants and panties over the side of the bed; my hands followed Zac’s moments and removed Zac’s pants and the boxers that lay underneath. My eyes followed my movements and widen when I got a look at Zac’s erection.

I felt my face burned with nervousness and awkwardness as Zac helped me pull off his pants, letting them joint my pants at the foot of the bed. My eyes wondered Zac’s face and locked on his eyes as he ran his right hand down the side of my face. He braced himself up on his elbows, pushing his erection up against my small opening. “Are you sure you want this?” He asked again.

“Yeah. I do.” I whispered bucking my hips up to meet him. He moaned as he pulled away. He slowly moved from the bed to the floor, fishing around in his pants that laid deguarded on the floor.

“What are you doing?” I asked.

Zac glanced up at me for a second before standing up and moving over to me; letting his body laid on top of me again. Zac smiled as he held up a small foil package in his right hand. A condom.

I licked my lips, catching my bottom lip with my teeth. Was I really ready for this? Could I actually do this?

“Are you sure you want this?” Zac asked as he lay next to me. He ran his hand down my cheek and I glanced up at him.

“I - I want you.” I whispered and I trailed my hand down his chest. What I really wanted to ask was how he thought that it would hurt. I doubted very much that I was the only virgin that he had been with. How much would I bleed? How much would I be able to stand? Would it actually feel good?

He glazed into my eyes as he torn at the foil in his hands. He sat up and slipped on the condom. Was it always this awkward? I wondered as I wrapped my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist. Zac slowly matched up their bodies, rubbing his naked body against mine.

Chapter Four

I would never forget that night. The night that I had spent with Zac wasn’t cheap, and he had done everything that I thought that he could have done. He tried to help me through the pain and tried to make me happy.

But Zac was right. There wasn’t a midnight string attached to the gift. There was something else attached.

Eighteen years.

I knew that having sex with Zac would be a beautiful thing. But I also know the consequences of my actions. They were my choices. And my rights.

All I can say is at least I have a path now. I have a road that I need to take and I’m not just blindly following my mother from place to place.

I have something to be.

I have someone who needs me.

Matthew Jason Hanson born on June 30, 2006.

Yes, I have something to be.

I’m Matt’s mother.

Not Zac Hanson’s girlfriend.

Not Tally Cobain’s daughter.

I’m defined now as my baby’s mother.

Challenge:

Name: Allyson
Rating(s) of the fic you want: T (Teen 13+), MA (Mature 17+),
Which brother do you want your story to be about?: Zac
Genre you want your story to be: Drama

Three specific things you want your fic to include:

• Hanson being famous
• On tour
• Reference to Cinderella

Three things you do not want your fic to include:

• video camera
• death