They had talked several times in the last couple of days, but for some reason neither of them could seem to end it on a bad note. He knew that it was inevitable that the two of them would need to be face to face to determine the conclusion.
In his heart, Zac knew that he wanted to be with Yuri, but the more and more he talked to Julia the more guilty he felt and the more he missed her old ways. The only thing was that he didn’t think that she could ever be the same again, and that she was only acting sincere because she didn’t want to lose him. Or was she? Was Zac just making all this up in his head because he wanted to break up with her and go out with Yuri? Was it too soon for all that?
Zac had to admit everything was moving rather quickly. From meeting Yuri and Maddie, to falling for Yuri, to fighting with Julia, and having to decide between the two was starting to weigh on his conscious even though Yuri was putting absolutely no pressure on him at all. In fact, he didn’t really even know her take on the matter.
“Look, we’ll talk later. I have to go.” Zac told her as he could hear his brother on the other end trying to console his girlfriend before getting off the phone.
He stuffed his phone back in his pocket and walked into Yuri’s hospital room. She sat upright in her bed obviously lighting up at the sight of him. A smile quickly spread across her lips as she was getting more and more used to his presence.
“How are you feeling?” Zac asked as he came to her side.
Yuri put a delicate hand up to her head where the bandages laid in place and frowned.
“Oh, you know, hanging in there. How are you?”
It was the first time Yuri had been completely coherent and awake that week. She seemed bright and shiny as always but there was a little bit more fatigue in her eyes.
“Good.” Zac sighed knowing that he should talk to her now that she could handle it. Something had to be said, but he didn’t know how or what exactly to say.
He must’ve had a puzzled expression on his face because Yuri immediately picked up on the confused vibe. “What’s wrong, Zac?”
“The girlfriend.” He started. “We’re not doing too well, and really I know why. I’m just not sure what’s going on right now.”
“It’s because of us isn’t it,” Yuri replied looking down sadly. “Look, I didn’t ask for you to be here and help us, Zac. You’re free to go whenever you like. I don’t want to cause anything between you and your girlfriend.”
“No, Yuri. It’s not your fault. It’s mine. I haven’t been honest with her,” Zac said, “and I haven’t been honest with you. I’ve been somewhat selfish in trying to help you and Maddie and I’ve just been neglecting everything else.”
“Zac,” she interrupted him taking a deep breath. “I love that you’re here and always by my side. No one has ever done that for me before. No one has cared so much for us that I don’t even know how to repay you or thank you for all that you’ve done, but you can stop now.”
“No. I like being here. What do you mean stop?”
“Well, I didn’t want to, but I called my parents. I can’t afford these medical bills and they didn’t even know about Maddie. I’ve been lying and hiding from the world for so long and it’s because of you that I’ve been able to realize how lucky I am to be alive. So, I told them what happened and how I’ve gotten to this point of homelessness and they want to bring me back to Japan. They’re going to take care of us.” Yuri explained suddenly looking away from him trying to avoid eye contact.
“I- I don’t know what to say. That’s good right? I mean that’s what you want?” Zac asked feeling as though he was about to lose everything.
“No, I don’t want to move back to Tokyo, but it’s the only way. Maddie and I can move in with my parents, they can help us out until I recover, and they offered to pay for my medical bills. They’re actually taking everything surprisingly well.” She told him folding her hands in her lap solemnly.
“I see. Then, that’s what you need to do I guess.”
With that there was an awkward silence, and Zac couldn’t take it. He wanted to cry and scream and beg her to stay with him but he didn’t think it was right. She knew what was best for her and her daughter and he wasn’t about to stand in their way. Yuri needed her family. Besides they barely knew each other, he told himself. Now was not the time to be selfish.
Zac suddenly felt alone again, and needed to get out of there. A part of him wanted to tell her how he felt about her, but the other part of him knew that her decision was for the best. He got up to leave.
“I need to go take a walk, but I’ll be back sometime.”
“O- ok,” Yuri replied her eyes beginning to fill with tears. She knew that this was the end, but it was time to let Zac go.
She watched as he walked out of the room, his head down. Not even Maddie spoke a word.
Zac walked back to his apartment and tried not to cry. What did all this mean? What did I do wrong? Maybe it wasn’t meant to be. He thought realizing that he was looking into this whole destiny thing way too much. He saved a life and did as God would’ve intended him to do, and now it was done. It was time to let go.
Zac stopped in his front lawn to see Taylor sitting on the porch again. This time his physique seemed to be tense, his shoulders leaned forward and back hunched to where his elbows rested on his knees. He held a Malboro Light between his fingertips and puffed on it lightly before speaking.
“Hey,” Zac said to him totally not in the mood to deal with another one of his preachy conversations.
“Hi, I, uh came with Julia.” He said stuttering. “She wanted me to drive her over here to talk.”
“Thanks for taking care of her.”
“No problem. She’s inside.” Taylor nodded quickly averting his blue eyes to focus on the cigarette in his hand.
Zac opened the door and saw what appeared to be an emotional wreck of his girlfriend sitting on the living room sofa. Her blonde hair was pulled into a messy ponytail and it looked as though she hadn’t slept in a while.
“I just wanted to see you,” she said softly looking up at him.
Zac took a deep breath and sat beside her. He was in no mood to deal with this either. He didn’t want to fight anymore. He didn’t know what to say either. Now that Yuri was leaving nothing seemed to make sense.
“How have you been?” Julia asked.
“All right.”
“Were you at the hospital?”
“Yes.” He didn’t feel like answering to her.
Julia sighed suddenly, and Zac knew she was about to explode with some statement. “Look, Zac. I’ve been acting inappropriately, and I apologize. I should not have blown up about the little girl, but it just made me angry that you hid everything from me while I was away.”
“Still, that doesn’t give you any right to go crazy on me.” Zac told her trying not to raise his voice.
“I know, I know!” she replied her own voice shaky. “And that’s why I’m here because I’ve been such a mess. My emotions, my feelings they’re out of whack, and I wanted to tell you this before I left, but I was stressed out about the show . . .”
“Tell me what?”
“I’m pregnant.”
Zac swallowed hard and couldn’t believe his ears. It was just one thing after another today, and if some other big event decided to pop into his life at that moment he didn’t know if he could handle it.
His eyes went wide with surprise and Julia immediately started balling.
“What? How? When?”
“I’m sorry. I know this isn’t what you want!” she sobbed senselessly. “It’s the reason why I haven’t wanted to have sex. It’s the reason I’ve been so distant lately. I knew I was late and so I took one of those tests. It was positive and I planned on telling you when I got back, but I wanted to go to the doctor first. I went before I left.”
“Shhh, Jules. It’s ok,” he told her scooping her into his arms. “We’ll figure this out.”
Zac rubbed her back gently trying to console her. She laid her head on his shoulders letting the tears fall, staining his white tee shirt. He suddenly felt a pang of guilt that he couldn’t bare. He had been neglecting Julia and now his whole world was about to be turned upside down.
“Zac, hey,” Yuri said with her same adorable smile. “I didn’t think you’d be back.”
Zac sat on the edge of her bed lifting Maddie onto his lap. She flung her arms around his neck and began to play with his hair.
“Yeah, I just came to say goodbye and wish you luck back home in Tokyo.” He began his voice cracking a bit.
“Oh well, thanks,” Yuri replied her eyes falling to the floor. She hoped he had come back for a different reason, but to no avail. “I’m sure we’ll be fine.”
Zac couldn’t stand to see Yuri so upset and he didn’t want to leave Maddie but he had to say farewell sometime. “You have fun in Japan with your mom ok?”
Maddie nodded with her big smile and child innocence.
“I’ll miss you so much!” he hugged her tightly not wanting to let go. “Take care of your mom, Maddie!”
“I will!” she replied and gave him a kiss on the cheek making Zac lose his composure.
He let the tears fall and noticed that Yuri had done the same.
“Have a nice trip home.” Zac practically whispered leaning in to embrace her. “Only a few days from now and you’ll be on a flight safe and sound. Until then, if there’s anything you need. . .”
“Thank you for everything, Zac. I don’t know what we would’ve done without you,” she told him wiping the tears from her eyes.
They pulled apart as Maddie climbed down. Zac held Yuri’s hand in his and looked into her eyes one last time.
“Keep in touch,” he told her as he stood up.
Yuri nodded physically showing how distraught she was. Zac couldn’t help but lean in to kiss her one last time. He pecked her lightly on the lips and pulled away as fast as he could. He had to go before he lost himself in her again.
“Goodbye.”