Author: Tiffany M.
Theme challenge: Breaking Up
Things to include: “Her hair smelled like pineapple.”, a unopened letter, hammock
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Mild use of language, the situation is also a little intense.
Author’s Notes: This story is written from Taylor’s perspective. It was written while listening to “Piece by Piece” by Katie Melua.

Maybe it’s better if I start at the end. Every story has an end, this one is no different. Maybe I changed, or maybe she did. I know what happened, and I know how we got there, it’s just still hard to believe it’s over, all over.

I knew that as soon as I saw her walk toward the screened in porch. It was in her eyes and all over her face. The door squeaked, in desperate need of oil, though the sound was almost camouflaged by the falling rain. The big willow tree, bowing in the yard seemed to be telling me something. Her footsteps were slow, calculated, and to me, dreaded. I opened the cherry door to greet her. My nose filled with the smell of summer rain on asphalt, and the scent of something coming; a foreboding feeling settled in my stomach.

Finally, her olive eyes met mine. I expected to see sadness in them, but I really didn’t, and I guess that shocked me most of all. I knew why she’d come. She had come to say goodbye, and yet, she looked relieved.

“Taylor,” she greeted, slow, southern, and yet, without warmth.

“Rian,” I replied, finding my own voice catching in my throat.

“Can we talk?” She’d asked. I knew then, that every assumption I had was right.

“Sure. Do you want to, uh, sit, or…?” My voice got lost somewhere in the translation.

She shook her head, brushing off my question, “It won’t take long.”

I felt a pain go from my left hand that was resting on the doorknob, and it worked its way straight up my arm and through my chest. Five years. After five years, whatever it was she was going to say wasn’t going to take long.

“Okay…” I mumbled, my eyes searched her face – and I tried in vain to try to get her to look at me. Instead, she looked through the screens, to the yard and the trees that enveloped the house. I knew she simply didn’t want to look at me. I like to think she couldn’t.

“I just wanted to tell you I’m leaving….”

I nodded. I’d known this when I’d come home two days before to see her belongings in boxes on the very porch where she stood to say her goodbye. Still, I’d left her letter unopened on the kitchen counter. I don’t know if it will ever be opened. …Maybe someday, but not now.

“Can I ask why?” I managed, although somewhat weakly.

“I took a job….in Tupelo. And, ummm…” She rubbed her arms as though she were chilled, “I start next week.” Finally, her eyes met mine, square on, and again, I saw no regret, not even a trace of tears.

“So this is it? Five years and you just walk out….? …Just like that on us? It’s just over?” I ran my hand through my hair, needing to feel something, anything to take my mind off of the pain in my chest.

“I would say I’m sorry,” she began, “But I know it won’t do any good. And the truth is- I guess I’m not sorry.”

A shot right to the gut. She’d sucker punched me, and I wasn’t ready. Before I could formulate some kind of a response, she kept punching me with her words.

“I needed to do this, for me, it was time. I think you need it too. It’s not about you. It’s about me, and my life, and what I need.”

“So what I need doesn’t matter then?” My voice was a little more edgy than I’d intended.

“Taylor…we’re two different people, and we come from two different places. When it comes down to it, we want different things, we always have. You want to get married, and you want a house full of kids. I don’t. I don’t want to be tied to one person forever. I don’t want a family. That’s not my dream anymore.”

“Please tell me you’re not saying you….were…”

“I was. But that doesn’t matter now, does it? Knowing everything won’t make it easier.”

She had me against the ropes, and I could hardly see straight. She’d come prepared, and she had come fighting dirty.

“Rian….” I stammered, and I felt myself getting angry for my own lack of self control for feeling so defeated.

“Taylor, listen….this is what it is. I have to go. I have a plane to catch.”

“But….I….” If only I could have found the words. …Any words….Words to make her sorry…Words to make her stay.

She leaned forward and wrapped her wiry arms around my neck. I took a deep breath, put my arms around her, and buried my face in her hair. I wished that time would stop right there in that moment, but I knew it wouldn’t. I took another breath, and I tried to memorize the scent of her hair, like pineapple and the beach. I knew it was a scent I’d never be able to erase from the surface of my mind. Over the years, it had etched itself deeply into the depths of my brain. Another breath in, and it only seemed to be hurting worse. I felt her start to pull away from me, and I wanted to do nothing more than to hold her close. But, in spite of myself, I let her go.

“Wait,” I said firmly. “You have to say goodbye to her. I’m not going to let you go without that.” I reached back to open the front door.

“Taylor, I don’t want to say goodbye to…”

“You’re doing it, damnit.” I spun on my heel and yelled into the house, “Tessa! Come here and say goodbye to mommy.” I looked back to Rian, who stared at me with near pleading eyes.

Three year old Tessa came toddling onto the porch, bouncy dark curls, just like her mother’s, framed her face, accented by big blue eyes that were near perfect copies of mine.

“Mooooommmmy!” She greeted, excitedly with a toothy smile. Rian bent over and patted her on the head, but she didn’t speak, so I intervened.

“Mommy’s going to go on a trip,” I started, eyeing Rian.

“Can I go?” Tessa asked, looking up to me.

“No sweetie.” I answered, trying to make it seem as normal as possible.

“How long?” She asked Rian, pulling on the hem of her skirt.

“A long time,” Rian asked, her voice masked with an unfamiliar coldness.

“Oh.” A hint of sadness embedded itself in Tessa’s tiny voice.

“You’re going to stay here with daddy, and he’s going to take care of you, ‘kay?” Rian looked at me, and I could feel my cheeks burn as I clenched my jaws to try to stop tears from forming in my eyes.

“’Kay.” Tessa agreed, wrapping her small, pale arms around my leg.

Rian looked at me one more time, and then slowly turned, opening the door on the screened in porch. The door squeaked once again, but this time, it echoed a familiar emptiness that I’d always felt with Rian, but never with Tessa.

I leaned over and scooped my little girl in my arms, and she let out a giggle and a squeal. I nuzzled my nose into her stomach and her happy laughter continued. “Daddy…” Tessa started, in between giggles, “Can we lay in the hammock when it stops watering?”
“Watering?” I laughed, “Do you mean raining?”

“Yeah,” she said, her tiny hands reaching to move the hair out of my eyes.

“Sure, we can lie in the hammock when it stops raining.” I nodded, thinking that seemed like a really good idea. I heard Rian’s car start, and I blew a raspberry on Tessa’s stomach to distract her. She squirmed and giggled more, and I smiled. I was determined that she keep her childlike innocence; that her last memories of her mother in her life not be of her driving away leaving us.

“Daddy…?” Tessa asked as I put her down once the car was gone from sight.

“What?” I asked, looking down at my daughter.

“Can you make me a nutbutter and jelly sandwich?” She smiled and batted her eyes, like she did every time she wanted her way.

“Sure. Why don’t we both have one?” I agreed, taking her little hand in mine and heading back into the house.

Maybe I started at the end, but it was only one end. The story of my life now, it had taken a different direction. The ending had made way for a new beginning. Rian might have ended us, but she left a piece of herself with me in Tessa. And while I might not be perfect, and I might not have always done things right, I knew that all along I’d known this is how things would go. And, if I could do it all over, without Rian, I wouldn’t, because that means I wouldn’t have Tessa…and she means more to me than life itself. Rian might have broken my heart, but Tessa, she puts it back together every time she smiles.